A letter to the First Minister about why just forming a bubble in your county is flawed- By single parents
After First Minister, Mark Drakeford’s announcement on Friday many single parents were relieved that they had been considered and listened to during this pandemic. It had high hopes of making them feel, less isolated, lonely, more seen and understood.
However, the current announcement left many single parents feeling worse, as the rules of staying inside their county meant that the support they desperately needed from family, close friends and partners, hasn’t been allowed. The complexities of being a single parent, including the impact on their mental health, means that further needs to be done by Welsh Government to make sure that single parents aren’t left as a forgotten group.
“As a single parent it’s extremely difficult, lonely and isolating trying to get through daily life alone”
Single parents would like the current rules to be updated to include single parents to be able to bubble with one household outside their county.
Here’s why single parents are calling for this change:
Facts about single parents and mental health (even before a global pandemic)
Single parents who join SPW talk to us of the many challenges that make their lives and the lives of their children difficult. Foremost mentioned are feelings of isolation and loneliness. There are almost 90,000 single parents in Wales (Stats for Wales 2018) and over 10,000 in Cardiff (ONS, 2015) and yet they are an invisible group, often isolated due to issues of poverty, access to services and the stigma of being a lone parent in society. Research shows that single parents are more likely to experience loneliness, isolation and stigma than coupled families. (University of Bath 2012) As a consequence of exposure to these negative factors single parents are at a higher risk of developing mental health problems (The Lonely Society, MHF, 2010). Research has consistently shown that single mothers have roughly three times the prevalence of depressive episodes compared with other groups, (Tragosz et al, 2003).
Not being able to see family
“My family are my lifeline, without the support and contact with them I don't know what I'd do. It's heart breaking not being able to just go for a walk and chat with them!!”
“Mum lives on her own outside of county and I am a single parent on my own with two children. While we have just managed to juggle work & home schooling throughout national lockdown the effects this is having on the mental well-being of all of our family is huge. Mum is in poor health and is loosing vitally important time with her only two grandchildren. “
“As grateful as I am that the Welsh Government has recognised the issues of isolation that single parent face. However, it has given a lot of single parents false hope for example my sister is in Cardiff and I can’t bubble with her because I’m in RCT. I hope that you will reconsider this and amend it as it exclude a large group of single parents.”
“I’m a single parent in NPT and rely on my parents (Swansea) to help with childcare while I work full time. They are now not allowed to enter my home under the new rules.”
No-one to form a bubble with in their county
“I don't have anybody in my county who I can 'bubble' with'. As a single parent it's extremely difficult, lonely and isolating trying to get through daily life alone. Its a particular blow being on the outskirts of a borough, (Taffs Well) where all my regular amenities, friends and family are out of bounds yet some even within walking distance. It seems cruel that I can take my son to school in another borough, go to university in another borough but can't rely on of my regular support network. Please start considering the effects your policies have on vulnerable single parents.”
“I don't have any family living in the county I can "bubble" with. I am a sole parent to three children. In the first lockdown I worked, studied for my degree, homeschooled two different aged children and looked after a toddler alone. Prior to local lockdown we bubbled with my parents who live near Ross on Wye and were able to go and stay with them for weekends so I was able to have some support. It meant they could look after my one year old enabling me to spend more quality time with my 10 and 11year old, I was able to have time to focus on my studies and I was able to have time to relax myself.”
“I live in Marshfield which falls under Newport CC (even though it’s more like Cardiff). But all my friends live in Cardiff, my family live in Monmouthshire and my boyfriend lives in Bridgend. I’d happily keep to a bubble with one household but don’t have that option. So I’m really disappointed with the announcement.”
The effects on mental health and physical health
“I am a single mum of a 9 year old, we recently lost my sister, and my family are grieving, my whole family live in another borough, I’m the only one who lives here and I am finding it extremely stressful to be away from my family, especially my parents and my sisters young children. I can travel 40 mins away to a place within my borough where I know no one but I can’t travel 15 mins to have a walk with my parents, please consider the effect this is having on our mental health.”
“I live in RCT as a single parent of two. My family are in Swansea, I am suffering physical health issues which have affected my already fragile mental health hugely and am in need on family support more than ever.”
“I have no local support network. I have a disability and so do both my children. One goes to school in my local county, whilst the other attends school in the next county. Its vital for our single parent family unit to be able to travel freely to access support.”
“My boyfriend lives in Monmouth. I'm a single parent going through cancer and impending surgery. He looks after me when I'm ill and helps with shopping etc. I am struggling without his support. Likewise he has ME and needs me sometimes when he has a flare. We can't see each other and its been so hard.”
Restricting to counties doesn’t make sense for single parents
“My mother lives on her own in Swansea, my friends all live in Swansea (local lockdown) Im in Carmarthenshire (not on local lockdown). Im not allowed to see anyone because provision has been made on the assumption that people live near to their support networks which a lot of people don’t. My mother can’t see anyone either for exactly the same reason. I find it astonishing that it is only now our Welsh Government are recognising the particular set of needs that both single parents and single people in general have and the barriers they face. And even the current "allowance" doesn’t properly address the issues wholly.”
“My mum lives in the next county, that I travel to for work and to drop off my children to their other household in the same county that my mum lives in. It doesn’t make logical sense that I can’t see my Mum, and she can’t see her grandchildren. She has cancer last year and all of this wasted time with her makes me sad.”
“These rules mean my sister can come from Swansea to RCT daily to work as a teacher, surrounded by colleagues and children, yet I am not allowed to visit them.”
“I’m a single mum living in Swansea. My partner of 18 months -also a single parent- lives in Neath Port Talbot. My mother and wider family do not live in the same county as me and neither do any friends that it would be practical for me to ‘bubble’ with for various reasons. The rules allow me to drive 17 miles to the furthest point away from me in my county but not 10 miles to see my boyfriend in the next county. I pose no risk of spreading or contracting COVID while driving 10 miles alone in my car. The arbitrary travel limitations to within your own county are meaningless and ineffective in preventing the spread of COVID.”
“Myself and my daughter are survivors of abuse. We live in the Vale of Glamorgan and our support is in Cardiff. Being a single parent is hard enough anyway and to be cut off from support just because I need to travel 5 miles one way and not another way to remain in the same county is not rational. I had to flee from abuse, so I am not here by choice. Don't punish us further by cutting off our support.”
If you are a single parent, that lives in Wales, and would like to get on board with our campaign then you can make a difference! We’d love to hear your feedback, comments and concerns to add to this post in the comments below.
Or feel free to email rachel@singleparentswellbeing.com for more details.
How you can help?
Write to your Member of Senedd, here’s a downloadable template
Get involved in our campaigning group email rachel@singleparentswellbeing.com
Comment on your experience and thoughts around the latest announcement