Connecting with your Child through Story Massage By Mary Atkinson

Mary Atkinson is an award-winning author and complementary therapist, is co-founder of the Story Massage Programme, a fun and inclusive way of combining the benefits of positive nurturing touch with the creativity of stories, poems, and songs. She talks about how this simple concept can help you connect and interact with your child.

Tell us about Story Massage, and how you came to the idea?

The programme consists of ten easy to follow massage strokes. These strokes each have a name such as The Circle (a circular action with your hand) and The Sprinkle (gentle tapping with your fingertips) and they are used to ‘illustrate’ the different objects, emotions, and actions within a storyline.  The Circle for example, might illustrate the sun, a sense of harmony or dancing. While The Sprinkle might illustrate raindrops, a feeling of shyness or tiptoeing into a room. The combination of strokes and words really brings the story, poem, or song to life. The strokes also have an accompanying symbol, which acts as visual cue and gives the programme a universal language of its own. 

Once you know these strokes then you can adapt and personalise favourite stories and rhymes and even write your own too. Children can be amazingly creative with their stories! We have a whole library of massage stories for different annual events such as Easter or birthdays, curriculum topics such as Space or Weather, and also those that can help open a discussion about feelings or challenging life events. Stories can be personalised to meet the individual needs of your child. The only limit is your imagination! You can find examples of follow-along massage stories on our You Tube channel. 

The joy of the programme is its simplicity as it just so flexible and easy to follow. You can enjoy sharing a Story Massage with your child just about anywhere, anytime – for a few minutes or a lot longer. No oil is used, and no clothes are removed, and massage can be given on any part of the body that is accessible and appropriate.

So how did it all begin?

In 2007, I met Sandra Hooper, a teacher and therapist, and now my co-founder of the programme, and we explored the creative and therapeutic possibilities of massage stories. Then in 2012, I was invited to volunteer in Japan, as a therapist, with a small charity supporting children and adults suffering trauma in the aftermath of the tsunami. And I chose to share some massage stories with the children. The response was overwhelming. Children and parents said they felt a sense of peace, comfort, and connection with each other that had been so lacking since the devastation of tsunami. 

When I returned to the UK, I knew we needed to make the potential benefits of these simple massage stories accessible to everyone. So, Sandra and I came up with the idea of a programme of ten strokes that could be easily followed, shared and repeated. We began by writing the book Once upon a touch…story massage for children which proved so popular that we set up an online training course for professionals and parents. The programme is now being used worldwide with children and adults of all ages and abilities (from babies to elderly care home residents) in a whole variety of different settings including schools, hospitals and of course, the family home.

What are your top tips for using Story Massage as a way for parents to connect with their children?

Make it fun! Story Massage is an enjoyable and nurturing experience, and something to share with your child in the way that they choose. Before each session begins, children should be asked whether they would like to have a massage story and at the end, they are thanked. This sets the scene for positive touch and healthy interaction and can be an accessible talking point about consent. 

Then be creative and flexible. Include your children with the Story Massage in every way possible. Invite your child to choose the massage story and favourite strokes. Ask about the pressure and where they would like the strokes to be given on their body – maybe back, hands, legs or feet. Choose a comfortable position – you can sit or lie down, inside or outside. And your child may like to give you a massage, that is always a lovely moment of connection. Siblings love to share Story Massages too. 

Story Massage can be enjoyed at any time, but for some children it may be beneficial to have a regular time slot. Bedtime is a favourite, and we have many parents telling us how much it has helped with sleep patterns. My own grandson, at 8 months old, calms totally with ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’ as a Story Massage and it is now integral to his bedtime routine. Children usually participate better when they are not over-tired or hungry. I would also suggest reading Rachel’s excellent blog Why Connection With Our Children Has Become Even More Important And Tips How To Connect By Rachel Brydon Founder Of Calm in The Chaos as her ideas are very relevant to sharing Story Massage. 

Can you tell us some of the benefits?

Benefits will obviously vary depending on the individual, but we have found that combining touch with the words of a story, poem, or song, really engages children and encourages them to sit quietly with you. This leads to relaxation of mind and body, easing tension and the cumulative effects of stress that are affecting so many young people these days. Many children will ask for a Story Massage when they feel stressed or anxious because they know how much it helps with regulating their emotions. 

This calming effect is largely due to the promotion of ‘feel good’ hormones including oxytocin that are released during safe, nurturing touch. These hormones, that are released in both you and your child, during a Story Massage help create a sense of harmony, bonding, and connection. Children also benefit from the individual attention given during a Story Massage which helps them feel valued and special, increasing confidence and self-esteem, and providing opportunities for communication.

And above all, it is fun and interactive. There is so much joy in sharing a simple Story Massage with lots of laughter and cuddles. Even those children who find it hard to accept touch are reassured by the structure and familiarity of the different strokes and often enjoy the experience. It is so heart-warming to hear from parents who can now share the benefits of touch with their children. 

These benefits became especially apparent during the pandemic when I began doing live twice weekly follow-along sessions on social media with my teddy bear, Emmanuel. The simple sessions were enjoyed by many families who say they offered comfort and reassurance in a very dark and uncertain time. Indeed, many parents asked schools to begin implementing the programme as they could see how positive touch combined with story helped children to engage and focus, and made everyone feel so much better in themselves. You can watch these fun videos on our You Tube and Vimeo channels. 

Can you tell us a story of how Story Massage has been used to support parents and children?

 We have many stories of how Story Massage has helped bring connection between parents and children – and added a new dimension to sharing quiet moments or brought comfort during difficult times.  

One of the most poignant is the story of Sophie, a single mother, with Maisy, now aged 17, who has severe disabilities, and Poppy, now aged 12. Sophie took the Story Massage Programme training 6 years ago as she is always looking for ways to bring happiness to Maisy’s life. Within a week, Story Massage became so much part of daily activities, that Sophie said she couldn’t imagine what they would do without it! And over the past 6 years, the family have rarely had a day without a Story Massage. 

At age 6, Poppy began writing her own massage stories especially for Maisy and shared them with her. This created a very special bond. When Maisy was in hospital for 5 months, Sophie and Poppy continued to give her a Story Massage every day and nurses commented that it helped to bring down Maisy’s blood pressure and helped her feel more restful. Poppy is convinced that Story Massage helped with her sister’s recovery. 

Poppy is now being home-schooled and she writes massage stories to help remember homework topics. And on Mother’s Day last year, Poppy bought her Mum a cup of tea in bed and shared a massage story written especially for her. What a very special gift. They have also taught the rest of the family so grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins join in too. 

Where can people find you and what are your social media links?

Website: www.storymassage.co.uk

Twitter: @storymassage

Facebook: @StoryMassageProgramme

YouTube: StoryMassageforChildren