How do I teach my child about racism? What do I say?
Sophia Mico gives us some tips on how to speak to our children about racism.
They’re too young. They don’t see colour. We’re not racist. I don’t want to upset them. These are just some of the statements I’ve seen and heard this week. As parents we’ve been bombarded with shocking images and headlines recently. Murder. Protest. Tear gas. Heartache. Pain. Questioning, is this reality?
If, like me, you’re a person of colour (POC) then you’ll likely have experienced racism in some shape or form during your lifetime. You’ll also be very aware of a number of police brutality incidents in previous years. It gets no easier - but this week we are heard. Educating children about racism is the foundation for change. I myself regard myself as privileged. I have brown skin, not black - and that affords me some passes. I was raised in an all white family, and went to a high school where 98% of my peers were white. But this hasn’t sheltered me from racism, or my child. I’ve always raised her to be aware of injustice in society. She’s not a stranger to conversations about racism, homosexuality, abortion, disability. I have chosen to raise her as open minded as possible.
If this week has taught us anything - being “not racist” isn’t enough you need to be anti-racist. Your children need to see you stand up for equality and stamp out hatred. They may not see colour. Show them. Explain history. Give them space to question. I’m not expecting you to show your children photos of a man dying at the hands of the police, or lynching or hangings from the past. But there are definitely things you can do.
Research Children’s Books
Invest in the Little People Big Dreams books - read about the likes of Maya, Rosa and Mandela. Have them talk about their stories. Expose them to stories where POC are heroes, brave and strong. As parents I urge you to research books for your children. There are several age appropriate lists hanging about the internet.
“Your children need to see you stand up for equality and stamp out hatred.”
Tell Ruby Bridges’ Story
Show them the photo of Ruby Bridges going to school with federal marshals. Explain her story, my daughter related to it from a young age. Even at 4/5 she could see the injustice. A little black girl needing security to walk into school because adults were throwing stones and protesting her existence. The white pupils were pulled out and Ruby was the only pupil for over a year. This is something that children can understand. They can put themselves in her shoes. There is also a Disney film about Ruby Bridges life that you can watch.
Watch Remember the Titans
If you have older children, then I recommend watching the film Remember the Titans. It’s made by Disney, so not gory. But it presents a school during desegregation and the troubles those teens experienced. It’s based on a true story. I like to focus on facts. I like her to lead the conversations and am always open to answer any question she has.
Buy Them Dolls / Figures That are Black
When an older relative cracks an inappropriate joke, don’t laugh or shift awkwardly - tell that relative it’s wrong in front of your child. Show them what’s right. BE anti racist and lead with love.
At this point, my daughter is 9. She is fully aware of this past weeks murder. No, I will not show her the video, or his dead body? Neither will I share the mugshots of his murderers. But she knows his story. She knows that sometimes, the police aren’t the good guys.
