Online Safety: What To Say When You Don’t Know What To Say By Online Safety Consultant Angela Loveridge
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you have really wanted to talk with your child about online safety, but the words just didn’t seem to come very easily? Over the years of delivering Better Together Online Safety’s workshops I have heard parents give various reasons for this. Some of the more common reasons have included, not knowing where to start the conversation, having a lack of confidence with technology generally or just simply feeling overwhelmed with how quickly things change online. Does this sound familiar? If it is any consolation, you are not alone.
A few of the parents who attended the recent Better Together Online Safety’s workshop expressed concerns about not feeling comfortable with technology and felt that their child(ren) knew more about the internet than they do. It’s no wonder then that starting these types of conversations can sometimes feel a bit awkward and may be a little out of your comfort zone.
Thankfully the first thing to remember is that the topic you choose does not necessarily have to be about online safety specifically. In fact, long before broaching the more serious aspects of online safety, your first step could be just showing an interest in their online lives. For example, you could use the NSPCC’s and O2’s NetAware website to find out more about the apps and games your child(ren) is currently interested in.
So, what do you say when you don’t know what to say?
Here are a few conversation starter ideas. You could ask your child:
What they like about the internet.
Which are their favourite online games, apps and websites.
What makes their favourite online games, apps and websites so engaging.
If they really know everyone on their ‘friends’ list.
If they ever get messages from strangers. If they do, how do they handle them?
What they would do if someone in their online groups was mean and who they would tell.
If they know where to find the privacy and safety settings on their devices/apps/games. For example, how to block, mute and report.
Your choice of topics will depend on what you think needs to be discussed and what you perceive that your child will be able to process and take on board.
When and how often?
It is important to remember that when and how you start the conversation will be a judgement call on your part depending on your parenting style and your child’s needs. Having regular conversations (little and often) will help to make talking about their online lives and ultimately talking about staying safe online a more comfortable conversation to have.
The Number One Rule
Your body language, especially your facial expression, is often just as important as the words that are being said. So, when having these conversations be aware of your reactions and try to keep your eyebrows in place. Watch Better Together’s TICK TOCK animation to help to remind you of this simple and effective tool.
When all is said and done…
The most important outcome from these conversations is to let your child know that you are listening and that you are open to conversation, so that if anything out of the ordinary does happen online they are more likely to talk with you about it.
About Better Together – Online Safety
Angela Loveridge has been developing and delivering online safety workshops since 2015 and was nominated for the NSPCC and AoCPP (formerly BASPCAN) Child Protection Trainer of the Year Award, 2018. Better Together – Online Safety workshops offer a wide range of tools and techniques so that each parent/carer can create a strategy that fits with their own parenting style and their child’s unique needs.
Where to find Better Together – Online Safety
Facebook: BtogetherUK
LinkedIn: AngelaLoveridge
Twitter: @Btogether_UK
Website: www.btogether.org.uk/