Challenges Faced by Single Parent Households, What They Need and Moving Forward
The insights gathered from the evaluation of the Wellbeing Workshops offer valuable perspectives on the difficulties encountered by single parents and the positive impact the project has made. In partnership with Mental Health Foundation and funded by The National Lottery Community Fund.
Here are some key takeaways:
Challenges Faced by Single Parent Households:
Stigma:
Participants struggled with societal labels and stigma associated with being a single parent.
Feelings of shame and worry are prevalent, especially when facing judgement from others.
Practical challenges emerged during divorces/separations, managing finances, and adapting to the role of the primary caregiver.
“I became a single parent not that long ago, so I was struggling with the whole concept”.
“I just kind of got scared of people, not of the people but more scared of what they would think of me”.
Wellbeing:
Feelings of loneliness and isolation were common, and were exacerbated during the COVID-19 lockdown.
Balancing parenting, homeschooling and work during the pandemic left many feeling overwhelmed. The aftermath of this is still being felt by single parents.
Single parents often prioritise their children's needs over their own, impacting their overall wellbeing.
Many said they had “forgotten” or “lost” themselves when becoming a single parent
Lots of single parents expressed finding it difficult to look after themselves or make the time for self-care. Their job, housework and other family members would often be a first priority above themselves.
The need for a sense of belonging, as often single parents feel unseen and unheard in society.
Becoming a single parent for many has a negative impact on their mental health for years to come
“a lot of my friends are in stable relationships, so I’m like the odd one out now”.
“with the pandemic I was just really isolated and quite sad and kind of a bit lost”.
“It was literally all about my little one [child]… it was like right I’ve got to do everything to make sure that he/she was okay and I forgot about me”.
“I’ve had to give up my job and career to be [their] carer”.
Relationships:
Difficulties in managing relationships with the other parent, including communication issues and disagreements.
Balancing the desire for children to have a relationship with the other parent while maintaining one's own wellbeing.
Particularly challenging for those who left abusive relationships and had to navigate co-parenting responsibly.
Having to single parenting whilst answering difficult questions from their children and others
Wanting to date again and healing after heartbreak and/ or trauma
Feelings of grief are expressed by many single parents, and not just those that are single parents through bereavement
“I was really struggling to navigate a coparenting relationship with my ex”.
“I’ve got my way of doing things even though my ex’s way… it’s not the way that I would do it and not the way I would especially want my children to be raised.”
What Single Parents Need:
Empowerment:
Single parents found empowerment through self development strategies for managing conflict and regulating emotions.
Visualising personal goals and planning steps to work towards achieving them.
Connecting with others in similar situations created a supportive and non-judgmental environment.
Peer led approach enables single parents to decide what they need within SPW.
See their new future as a positive one.
“you’ve had permission to be able to actually take control and stand up for yourself”.
“I’ve got that [their goals] on the fridge and if I’m having a low moment I look at the cause obviously the fact that it’s in my handwriting makes a big difference”.
“I think it’s a bit better for me now cause I met people who were in the same situation and have come out the other end”.
“just listening to their stories and what they’d lived through and how they’re surviving and what they do for their kids is just absolutely amazing.”
Personal Growth:
Workshops facilitated personal growth by providing tools for self-improvement.
Participants experienced positive changes in perspective and increased confidence.
Focus on self-care and positive self-perception contributed to personal development.
Becoming a volunteer for single parents for various different motivations
“I feel the workshops helped me to focus and maintain those changes”.
“it was almost like a reset and it just gave me some time just to concentrate on me really and think about myself a little bit and to give me some space to breathe”.
“I’m starting to try and be a little kinder to myself”.
“it’s okay to feel my feelings”.
“I feel like it’s given me more confidence to be involved in you know things like that, I suppose just being involved in the work of SPW”.
“I didn’t think that I would have shared as much as I did, it gave me the confidence to speak up and share my experience”.
Validation:
The workshops created a sense of validation by fostering a community of single parents.
Sharing experiences with others helped combat feelings of isolation and stigma.
Participants felt seen, heard, and supported, creating a network of understanding individuals.
“I see it it’s like we’re all on the same boat but a different storm”.
“hey look you’re not the only one, you don’t have to be ashamed you know it’s going to be okay”.
“all the women that were there, we were all at different stages you know you have some who are at the early stages of being a single parent then you had others who were in the middle of the road and some who were you know a few years in like myself.”
Moving Forward:
Tailored Support:
Recognise the diverse needs of single parents at different stages of their journey.
Develop programs that address specific challenges, such as co-parenting dynamics and overcoming societal stigma.
Community Building:
Continue fostering a sense of community and peer support.
Encourage the sharing of personal stories to inspire and empower others.
Accessible Services:
Ensure that workshops, events, and services remain affordable and accessible.
Consider the impact of external factors, such as the cost of living, on the ability of single parents to engage in support activities.
Advocacy and Awareness:
Work towards reducing societal stigma associated with single parenthood through advocacy and awareness campaigns.
Share success stories and positive outcomes to inspire confidence in single parents.
SPW are committed to focusing on immediate challenges but also promoting long-term empowerment and well-being. By focusing on the areas highlighted we are hoping to contribute to the positive growth and resilience of single parent households in Wales.