Managing Two Homes and High School: Advice and Top Tips for Single Parents by Single Parents
Starting high school is a milestone in every child’s life, but for single parents managing two homes, it can add an extra layer of complexity. Between uniforms, homework, and coordinating schedules, it often feels like a juggling act. Based on the lived experiences of parents like us, here are some tips, insights, and solutions to help ease the load.
Communication is Key
“A lot of these solutions rely on a decent co-parenting relationship. It must put a big extra burden on the child to keep on top of everything if you don’t have that.”
A strong co-parenting relationship is the cornerstone of making this arrangement work. Open communication ensures the children’s needs are prioritised, even amidst the challenges. One parent shares:
“We have a decent co-parent relationship and will always let [our daughter] have her say about what she wants to do and what works best for her. I’m lucky we both get on still and want what’s best for her.”
Schedules and Timetables
“It’s the most stressful start of secondary schooling…”
“Driving me mad but we’re managing in some shape.”
“It’s hard, isn’t it! I think all you can do is try and be on top of the timetable—and we have a three-week timetable which doesn’t help.”
Managing two homes can feel like living life in a perpetual state of planning. For some single parent families, the solution was a well-organised schedule, including:
Packing bags in advance: “My daughter packs her school bag ready for Monday morning on Friday evening.”
Using reminders: “I usually give her a text Sunday evening to make sure she has everything she needs put back in her bag.”
If your child’s school runs a multi-week timetable, it might help to display it somewhere visible in both homes to avoid confusion.
Uniforms: A Shared Responsibility
“The fact that there are no lockers is annoying.”
“She ends up carrying loads of stuff around that she doesn’t need—creating back problems for the future, I’m sure.”
Uniforms can be a major source of stress. Between ensuring they’re clean and making sure they’re in the right home, the task can quickly become overwhelming. One parent solved this by assigning laundry duties:
“I’ve made it their dad’s responsibility to make sure the uniform is washed.”
It might also help to keep extra sets of uniform at both homes. While it can be a financial investment upfront, it saves time and stress in the long run.
Homework and School Supplies
“It’s just hard work if she leaves any homework or things she needs for the week behind at her dad’s as he lives so far away.”
Homework and school supplies are easily forgotten, leading to frantic exchanges. For some, a storage solution like a garden storage box with a padlock has been a game-changer.
“That way, things could be dropped off/picked up securely without having to wait in or see each other as well.”
If the school allows it, consider requesting a locker or year office space for your child.
“One of my daughter’s friends has been given a locker in school for him to keep anything he needs whilst he goes between his parents. Maybe it’s something your school could consider.”
Practical Tips for Managing Two Homes
Keep Spare Supplies:
Extra chargers, pens, uniforms and stationery at both homes can save last-minute stress.Plan Ahead for Handoffs:
“On one of the days, my youngest does gardening club then swimming, so we’ve arranged that I’ll collect from school, take her to swimming, then he’ll collect both from my house.”Maintain Flexibility:
Despite all the planning, unexpected issues arise. “Sometimes, I meet dad halfway to exchange stuff needed.” Flexibility and teamwork are key, but we know this isn’t always possible.
Looking After Yourself
“It is wearing. I feel like I’m always thinking ahead.”
Single parenting, including across two homes, is hard work. It’s important to acknowledge the emotional and physical toll it can take. Give yourself grace, take breaks where you can, and lean on your support network and SPW, you’re not alone.
Raising children across two homes during such an important stage of their lives is no small task. With organisation, communication, and flexibility, it’s usually possible to create a system that works for everyone, plus it might take some time for the two houses and the children to get used to the new responsibilities and equipment needed for high school.
As one parent sums it up perfectly:
“It’s hard, but we’re managing in some shape.”
You’re not alone, and your efforts to support your child through high school while balancing the dynamics of two homes do not go unnoticed. Keep going—you’re doing great.