Want to Connect Creatively With Your Children But Have Some Worries?
Not feeling like you’re the most creative? Worried that your child won’t sit in front of zoom and get involved? Don’t know anyone else who attends? If there are always feels like an absolute mass of reasons why you shouldn’t get involved with something that is unknown, we get it, the unknown can feel scary. We want to give you the opportunity to not only get involved, but enjoy the whole process, so have a little read of this and if you have any other questions send them our way.
If you want to ask in the facebook group, tag one of us in the question or use the #connectingcreatively so we know to find your question. If you want to message privately, you absolutely can.
Why are we doing it?
The project started as a way of connecting families during covid when we were all stuck at home and not allowed to mix. We did lots of consultation with those who attended and there was an appetite for it to continue.
Read about Creativity in Covid HERE
In fact the results of the project were so brilliant that the Mental Health Foundation supported SPW in a new grant and funding was allocated for the revised project - Connecting Creatively.
Connecting Creatively is all about Single parents connecting and strengthening relationships with their children whilst learning new creative skills.
How are we doing it?
We are blending delivery to online and in real life. There are pros to be had from both. We know people have a preference for both too. There are a whole host of reasons people prefer online and for our friends who are more rural or based away from South Wales, it makes it inclusive. We also acknowledge that others have desperately wanted to see human adults and need some in real life interactions.
Whether it is in person or online we always let you know if you need to bring anything to the activity. If it is an online activity, we post out the parts we don’t expect you to have at home. Every single event has all the details on it so there are no surprises. If you think there is something that you need to know about, in order to book anything, please please email us. We are on a mission to remove all and any barriers.
‘But I don’t have any creative skills!’
In truth, you don’t need them! Honestly! The classes range in competence levels needed but nothing is designed to make it hard for children to get involved. All the sessions are either gently guiding you to learn an extra level of skill or are facilitating you doing the activity together with your child. Our number one aim is the connecting part of connecting creatively. And really, what is the worst thing that happens if you realise you can’t get pipe cleaners to bend to your will?
Let’s address some anxieties as well.
‘I’m worried my child won’t engage’
It happens. We have all been ‘the’ parent at the toddler group who has a toddler that doesn’t comply with the instructions, or had a child full on refuse to attend the class they insisted they wanted to attend. It is absolutely fine. We have an inclusive approach and underpinning all the sessions we put on at Single Parents Wellbeing are the values of being trauma informed and positive parenting. More than that, we don’t even expect your child to necessarily follow the instructions in the exact same way as given by the facilitator. The purpose of the sessions are to be together and create awesome memories and strengthen your relationship.
Things to make it positive
Talk about the activity positively
Children look to us to know how to react to situations and how they should feel about things. They learn far more from modelled behaviour than they do being told what to do. So when talking about the activities present it positively. Air your worries if you think your child has the same, but do so with a solution as well.
“I hope everyone else in the session is nice. I’m glad we’re doing it together as that’s the most important thing for me.”
Let them know you're looking forward to spending time with them
Sounds simple, but it really helps create the right mood and who doesn’t like being told that time with them is precious and special.
Set it up so it's easy for them to get involved
If you have a child reluctant to engage, the easier you make it for them the better. Having the space ready in advance, rather than last minute (and I speak as a last minute person myself!) means that you are calmer going into the session. Getting the resources out and ready means that they are spotted ahead of time so questions can be asked.
You will know the stumbling blocks you are likely to have though, and crucially, you will also know the best way to navigate them.
Ask them their worries and come up with a plan to overcome them
So much about the sessions are to build on the relationship you have with your child. Chatting before the session is a great way of using it as a springboard to chat about worries. Some worries will be easy to overcome. Some may need a solution that is worth sending us a message to work with you - like not asking them directly to show their work during the session. Others may be much bigger and require lots of conversations and strategies between you.
Join the session even if they walk off, they will see you doing it and may join in later
Your child may wander off mid way, let them know you’re ready when they are and stay in the session. Your child may stay in the background and observe what is happening, or they may stay in earshot in another room. It’s ok for that to happen. When they do come back do not make any comment about them leaving, keep the conversation light and show them what you are doing and get them up to speed with how they can get back involved.
Talk positively about their engagement when they do participate
A growth mindset really helps with trying new activities and how we talk about effort matters more than talking about the result. We keep saying it, but really the result doesn’t matter, what does is spending quality time together so don’t pass on any stress about ‘getting it right’, enjoy the process. Asking questions rather than making statements is a great way to get the conversation flowing without pressure. ‘What colour are you going to use? / What are you going to do next? / What made you pick that?’ are simple examples. Positive examples of phrases for effort are - ‘I noticed how you were really concentrating when you were doing …’, ‘I was impressed with how you kept going until you were happy with how it looked.’
‘I won’t know anyone’
Be reassured that we do not expect everyone to chat throughout nor do we expect everyone to leave their microphones on so we hear you and your child chatting the whole time. How much you engage with the chatter is entirely up to you. There are times when actually chatting to the group just doesn’t make sense. Remember that the sessions are really about you and your child connecting with one another. For that you need to be in a bubble of your own.
There are times when the facilitator may ask a question or engage the group in a chat about what they are doing, but you really don’t need to speak. If you worry about other people saying anything negative about anything you have done, I can honestly say that it has never happened in the whole time I have run or been part of any sessions.
Other things that may help to know:
Not everyone knows each other
Not everyone is great at the activities
Not everyone is in a chatty and happy mood when they start
The facilitators are there to encourage not to pressure you
If you decide to do a twist on the activity and not follow the instructions, nothing bad happens
We love seeing everyone's creations - the awesome ones, the non starters, the funny ones and all the others
We love meeting new parents and their children. This project aims to be a positive experience for all and we very much hope that you can find a session that appeals to you and we get to meet you. Our proverbial door is always open so please do get in touch with any questions or comments. Happy connecting creatively.
Have a look at what’s coming up and how to book onto our Connecting Creatively Workshops here.